‘’Com’on sweety, go on out there. You have a beautiful voice. The people are waiting to hear you sing” Then with a gentle push, “Go ahead now”. Little Carley turns away, teary-faced, terrified, saying “ No, no, no, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.
Carly’s parents don’t understand. Carly really does have a beautiful voice. She sings for family and friends all the time, quite confidently. What’s the problem?
The problem is she knows all about her family and friends and those people out there are strangers - complete strangers!
Carly’s not alone, a lot of us are uncomfortable meeting strangers, speaking in public, leery of even speaking openly with in-laws at a family holiday. We worry our words will be dismissed, or worse yet, mocked. We worry we’ll say something boring, or embarrassing.
Maybe we won’t fit in. Maybe those other people will judge us.
On the other hand, confident people have no trouble talking to anyone. “Hey, how ya doing”? They’re comfortable whither they should be or not, while shy people remain shy even when they have every reason to be comfortably confident.
What’s the difference?
Some of the difference is due to natural temperament. That comes with birth. It can be modified, but not much. For most of us though, it’s a misunderstanding of human nature. “People are so different”. “You never know what to expect”. “You better be careful. You don’t know that crowd”, and so on. Nonsense, we’re all experts at reading strangers – they’re us.
Some never met a stranger; some hope they
never will.
Humans come in a lot of shapes and sizes. Some are better at, this - others are better at, that. Inside they’re mostly the same. Yes, everyone is unique, and personalities vary widely.
Despite that, we all have more in common than apart. Superstars and monsters will always be with us. They are exceptions to the rule, and rarely more than 10% or so of any population.
The remaining 80% or so are jus’ folks.
Humans beings tend to think and act like human beings. Most everyone we meet will be a lot like all the other everyone’s we meet.
Bob Dylan once sang:
I’m average, common too, Just like him n’ the same
as you,
I’m everybody’s brother and son, ain’t no different
than anyone,
No use in a-talkin’ to me, That’s just the same as talkin’
to you.
I think Bob got that about right.