Isn't it odd that we spend most of our listening time in thinking about what we're going to say. That's more true of men than it is of women. Men understand speech as a way of getting information, or of making a point. Woman understand speech as a way of emotive connection to another person.
Yes, that's a generality, but then, generalities are generally true.
All three ways of listening are valid at different times. Neither listening to understand nor listening to make a point require explanation. Listening to make an emotive connection does. I'm a man, it took me most of my lifetime to figure it out.
Woman are born knowing this.
Some say listening is an art. I say it's more of
a blessing. We are welcomed for a time into the private world of someone else. The person we listen to has another person who wants to hear what they have to say. It's a double blessing.
I wish it hadn't taken so long for me to understand.
Most of what is said isn't worth saying. So what? There is value in saying and listening that is greater than point or purpose. The value is the all too infrequent connection to another soul. That rarely happens here on Earth. We should treasure such moments.
My cousin, Karen, recently took on a job that gives her an extra reason for listening. Most of her clients are old and infirm. They sometimes forget names and places. Karen can remind them of those names and places because she has listened to their stories.
She listens to them because she cares for them. They know she cares for them because she listens to them. It seems a small accomplishment. It's not. The great events of mankind pale in significance compared to the miracle of one soul actually listening to another soul.
Karen's supervisors praise her work. She likes being praised. She would have done the same without being praised. It's in her nature. People can be trained to be polite. They cannot be trained to be kind and thoughtful. That is a gift from God.
The bustle of getting and gaining, of being and becoming, of getting on in the world, keep us from listening to others. We're just so busy. We haven't time. At the end of days some of us realize we are alone. We've never really known anyone. What does it matter what else we've done? We might have done less and listened more.
We still could.
Yes the person you're listening to may prattle on about nothing important. That's not the important part.
The important part is that you're listening. Someone else cares about them. Someone gives a damn.
How amazing.
Oh, I'm sorry. You've probably something more important to do than listening to me.
Maybe another time.