That’s the title of Alexander King’s autobiography. The enemy he speaks of is – him. Isn’t it so for all of us. We like to blame others for our problems. Most of the time our problems come from no one but ourselves. We make foolish, decisions.
We act selfishly. We cheat. We lie. When the bill comes due we sputter and complain. “Wait, what! . . . I didn’t order this . . . there must be some mistake!
There was a mistake – yours.
Every decision has consequences.
Alexander King was a raconteur who appeared frequently on the old Jack Parr TV show. He, like most of Jack Parr’s guests, could speak for hours without teleprompter or notes.
It was a Golden Time, from the middle fifty’s into the early sixties, when talk shows were expected to be intelligent, knowledgeable, and polite – even on TV.
Such a time may never come again.
King’s stories were about his life; stories filled with art, travel, history, and philosophy. He also recalled loves, and loves lost. He regretted the peccadillos, and took full responsibility for all of them. You could learn from his stories and be entertained as well.
I certainly was.
An audience of today would likely be confused and bored. They would probably need to inquire of Google about very many of Alexander King’s references.
The overall effect on me was to examine things I hadn’t thought of, before.
I read his book.
He was a mentor I never met in person
We are all of us, our own worst enemy. Even those who grudgingly accept that truth have trouble putting it to use when they most need to put it to use. Me included. In the hurly-burly of everyday life we’re inclined to act before we think. We’ll sort it out later. Except for those times when it can’t be sorted out, as in “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!“ or “Yeah, what’a ya gonna do about it?” or “Who’s brat is that?”.
The stomach cramps, black eye, and discovery that you’ve been talking to the mother of the brat, might all have been avoided by a little prudent forethought. We don’t have to be our own worst enemy, we default to it by the ease of inattention.
Cats don’t have that problem. They’re constantly alert - even when they seem sleeping - they’re monitoring. Humans manage to be unconscious even when completely awake. We have to decide to be alert. We have to make it a habit.
Care in speaking is a good place to begin. A moments pause is often enough. Should that be said? Should anything be said. Maybe we’re better off when we wait for a question before we offer an opinion. Some things need to be said. Far more don’t. Babies gibber all the time with nothing particular on their minds. Adults shouldn’t. We should wait until we have something to say worth saying.
The person you’re talking to may not think what you’ve said worth hearing, but you’ve at least thought about it. If you couple that with being slow to act, and attentive to who and what is around you – you will eventually develop three useful habits:
Think before you speak; Think before you act; Pay attention.
These habits won’t make your enemy grow any older. They will bring your enemy to heel.
Alexander King talked a lot – but only when he had something worth saying. Otherwise, he barely moved, and he listened when other guests were talking.
It’s not that hard.