Sticks & Stones

          Is it true, "Sticks and stones can break my bones,
but words can never hurt me"? If so, then how is it that, "The pen is mightier than the sword"? Like so many axioms, both are true in context. Witless insults can be brushed-off, but certain words can wound.  

            Psychological labels can wound you by causing other people to box you into a category that can limit their understanding, and that does limit the behavior of those labeled.

          When someone is labeled as, "Intellectually Disabled", or "suffering from Alzheimer's", or any other psychological diagnoses, their humanity and their potentiality is diminished - no less so than when they were called, "retarded", or "senile".

           The euphemisms change, the limiting effect of labeling is the same.

           Psychological labels are benevolently intended. Their purpose is to ensure special care for people diagnosed as needing special care. Well enough, but too often the labeling results in people being treated with less respect than the respect accorded everyone else.

           No one does this deliberately. The stigmatizing is an artifact of the labeling, itself.

           Professionals do the best they can to avoid the unintended stigma of diagnostic labels.
It's hard. People labeled with a weakness in their being will always feel belittled - a bit like being told,
"I don't care what they say; you're alright with me".

           That never makes anyone feel alright.

           Maybe honesty is better.  Yes, you have this problem. So what.

           I once knew a fellow, John Long, who had multiple sclerosis from childhood. It affected his legs He needed crutches to get around. He didn't need crutches for anything else. He was bold, ambitious, and confident. If anyone called him handicapped, he would angerly correct them: "I'm not handicapped, damn it, I'm a cripple".

           John despised sympathy because he knew sympathy focused on his problem. He was focused on his success. "Yes, damn it, I'm a cripple, so what, let’s move on".

           Sticks and stones can break our bones, and words can break our souls, but words have only the power we allow them to have. That's true for people who can take care of themselves and people who take care of people who need their help.

           Labels diminish. Respect encourages. Sincere caregivers care more about the person than for the label the person has been given.

           The best of the caregivers know that better than me.

           Bless them all.










John Allen

Island